well it's too much for me (and I've been critical about certain UK Military decisions/ideas), but the UK is your country so you may make any jokes about it you want, and even present your case in Hyde Park's Speakers' Corner
I put it up to show the disdain our politicians have for Defence in general, as many people from other countries can't get their heads round the prevailing attitudes of our ruling classes. The British Political elite have generally speaking never served in the armed forces and rarely even have relatives who have served, or are in at way connected to them. It's really a different world to them and they just don't understand it, or even the need for it. They all think Defence is a huge cash cow to be raided in order to fund their own pet projects that they hope will lead to their re election, but beyond that they only take an interest in defence when it affects them personally; For instance the only reason former PM Gordon Brown (who publically once said before his party formed a government in 97 "Every pound spent on Defence is a pound wasted.") approved the order for the CVFs, was because his own constituency would be hit with large scale unemployment if he didn't place the order. He then slowed the pace of work to cut the 'monthly' bill which also had the effect of pushing up the overall price of the carriers by at least £1Billion and delaying service entry by up to two years.
Historically, back in April 82 when the Falklands were invaded the British Government was taken completely by surprise despite all the warnings. When the 1st Sea Lord briefed the cabinet about the preparations for a Task Force he'd already made, mentioning that the two carriers Hermes and Invincible would sail first thing Monday morning with 20 Sea harrier between them, Margaret Thatcher smiled and said "Of course you'll be sending the Ark Royal with her Phantoms and Buccaneers too?" " No Ma'am. You scrapped the Ark Royal two years ago and handed the Phantoms and Buccaneers over to the Air Force, so they won't be participating." British PM, no idea what forces she had to deploy. In any other country that would be unthinkable. In more recent times David Cameron's government made a big deal out of decommissioning the next Ark Royal in 2010 along with the Harrier force (fresh from a £1Billion upgrade to GR9 standard, and sold to the US at scrap value) describing Ark publically as 'Britain's last aircraft carrier', which the press repeated parrot fashion. Which completely ignored the existence of both HMS Illustrious and HMS Ocean. The UK Press are just as bad on the whole, if they talk about Defence they usually mean the Army or Trident, and on the rare occasion the Navy is mentioned they frequently describe everything down to OPV size as a 'Battleship', not a Warship. Whenever the Government does (in response to questions being raised) talk about the size of the Royal Navy, they include literally any grey painted ship they can in the numbers, so RFAs, training ships down to patrol boats and Launches are lumped in with the Destroyers, Frigates, Carriers and Amphibs to bolster numbers. I hope this has been enlightening.