I certainly wouldn't exclude an earlier IOC date along the lines you suggest, but I prefer to be conservative about these things and occasionally pleasantly surprised, rather than optimistic and regularly disappointed. Beyond that, one reason why this aircraft might spend longer in development than J-20 is because having J-35 in the inventory affords PLAN the luxury of doing so. Early 2030s, J-35 will be a modern, performant and still new aircraft that PLAN may well still be getting up to speed on in terms of training, doctrine, the full range of payload integrations, all occurring in the context of a still-evolving carrier development program, i.e. the 004 CVN. Allowing J-XDS to cook for a few more years and emerge either at a higher level of maturity or greater level of technology would not be the worst thing in the world.
There is a counter-argument to be made regarding deteriorating strategic circumstances requiring maximum capability to be delivered in minimum timeframe to maintain deterrence, etc. But I think PLAN's decision not to maximise short-term carrier capability by producing additional units of the 003 design suggests that, even if this mode of thought is entertained elsewhere, it is not entertained in relation to the carrier program, where the view is to the longer term, which in turn has implications for the urgency of J-XDS (or other future generation naval combat aircraft).