A powerful military is feared by its enemies, therefore its citizens are safe and proud, etc... it guards its national prosperity and that prosperity is used to build a better military. Can't have one without the other, it's a cycle. I think we agree on what the military is for; we're just putting it in different ways.
I never said I liked the way the Kims rule. It's ridiculous that they've made a fake religion with people thinking that the ruling family is divine or that Kim Il Sung rules from the grave. It's also stupid that they make empty threats all the time instead of silently building their power. Ideally, they should follow China's example, then they wouldn't be so financially inept to support their military. But with all those mistakes, at least they didn't make the biggest one and become somebody's dog.
One thing they got right is that North Korea needs to be able to defend itself (with nukes, if threatened with nukes) and doesn't bow to the threats of others, not even the United States.
Yes. A powerful military is feared by its enemies. But fear only gets you so far and it would be a far better world if countries did not see each other as mortal enemies. However, that doesn't mean countries still aren't competitors, in the realms of economics/politics/military.
Everything we've seen is really about the Kim dynasty retaining power, not what is best for the people. If they had a modicum of that sense of duty, they would have followed China's reform example long ago (we're now on the 3rd generation of Kims) and invited in Chinese investments.
By continuing on that path, they will never escape being a wild and starving dog, as you put it.
From that point of view, it would be a mercy for the North Korean people if China tacitly supported the removal of Fatty Kim by more progressive elements in North Korea.
Remember that the North Korea Juche ideology (self-reliance / racial purity) is a direct descendant from the insane ideology implemented by the bureaucrats of Fascist Japan back during WW2.