Is getting 95% of your population killed so much less scary than getting 99% of your population killed? China's minimal deterence is sufficient to kill at least 90% of the US population, even if not immediately, the radiation and resulting nuclear winter definitely will. Russia's and by extension, USSR's strategy was to annihilate 99% of the US population in a split second; they couldn't be bothered to wait for the effects of radiation and nuclear winter to set in. I don't know about you, but if I was the US government, I'll be equally scared of China's and Russia's nuclear stockpiles; they will both turn the US into a wasteland and wipe out the majority, if not all, of the population; the only difference is that China's nukes will take a few weeks to finish the job whereas Russia's will immediately yield full results.
In a nuclear exchange, China's roughtly 60 ICBMs capable of hitting the continental US wont even get to their launch pads or finished fueling (DF-5A) before getting completely wrecked by an US first strike.
There's no way to talk around that fact.
The difference between US and Chinese nuclear power is that large, that the US could target every single lauch-pad, every single tunnel entrance to China's underground great wall network, and every single suspected storage for nuclear warheads and missiles (that are most probably still kept seperate as of Chinese doctrine), while China can do nothing to prevent that in any meaningful way and to effectively ensure the survival of her deterrence.
The very few Chinese missiles that survive the onslaught, would then be intercepted by the US pacific and national missile defense.
In that scenario, China should actually be happy that none of her missiles went through the US missile defense, since one or two destroyed US cities would be militarily meaningless and will most probably lead to the US striking Chinese civilian population centres in retaliation. When this happens, there's even less China could do about it, having lost all of her nuclear deterrence vis a vis the US, and become a victim of nuclear blackmail or holocaust.
There's no point argueing about it: China needs both nuclear parity or near parity with the US to ensure a MAD situation, as well as better and longer ranged SLBM that can be launched from the Bohai Gulf or near Sanya in the SCS to hit the US, to have a credible second strike capability.
That the Chinese goverment never addressed that very obvious weakness at least through emergency measures (like a mass-production of DF-31A), cant be described as nothing other than criminal negligence of national defense.
If China gains that ensured deterrence through near parity, her diplomatic and geopolitical standing will immediately rise and she will have so much more freedom of action around the world. China could even cut down on military spending for her conventional forces, and save a lot of money.