Children no matter the culture/race/ethnic background are supposed to have fun ,within reason, when growing up. They also need learning varied experiences. A mother that controls every aspect of a child's life will have so much resentment built towards her there may be a major disconnect when the children reach adulthood. And I do firmly believe that children raised in the manner described will adjust poorly to the very real and harsh World.
Raising children in this manner crosses all culture/race/ethnic backgrounds. It part of as the Gov of PA,Ed Rendell, states the wussification of America.
ahhh finally a topic i somewhat have more knowledge into. popeye u aren't wrong about the necessities to have fun, but of everything, the secrets is to unharness the child's potentials and extinct the bad, while not socially neglecting the child. this is extremely important, as authoritative parenting produces disciplined, high self-esteemed, confident children, while indulgent parenting leads to slackers. neglective parents lead to children with social problems, and authoritarian parents leads to insecure children. children can withstand the tortures of the environment and the demands placed upon them, as long as the children know s/he is still receiving a warm message from the parents. this explains why asian children, even if gets beatings and POW treatments just for homework, still comes out fine. this is because asian children, deep inside, knew their parents love them. these are also the messages that their parents reassure constantly. while their parents are nazis when it's study time, once the serious stuffs are pushed aside, they still show a lot of affectionate love and caring to their children. asian parents may beat their children up and insults aren't uncommon inside the house, but once in public, the parents will boast of their children like deities, and will be extremely protective, sensitive to outsider's words. this is the moment where u see the parents' display of pride of their children. parents don't display that too much in front of their children often because of the fear of spoiling them.
in additions, asian children were taught that what they experienced at home were nothing compared to the world out there, and that their parents always loved them. the in-home training goes a long way to developing the early years up to adolescence, where then the parents take a different approach because by now, the children would have learned self discipline. by this stage, the hard work and all the screaming and yellings paid off: asian childrens are now stronger-willed inside, can take more substantious beatings and hardships, and the skills acquired from all the early days of schooling developed strong cognitive, aptitude skills, while music training and the learning of various schools of art and skills trained the left hemispheric cortex of the brain. the combinations is a very healthy thing to make the children to becoming a strong standing person with strong mental will, as well as a handful of well-developed basic skills under their belt. they are now more ready to tackle the next stages in life in terms of their education and work careers. the children realize these, and would actually become grateful and thankful to their parents for these trainings that they have received, as they finally understand why they had to go through all these pain. let's not forget childhood passes faster than our later lives, when memories are more vivid with our experience.
in a way, it can be even said that asian children and parents display strong will, and are more determined and hardened when it comes to parenting. maybe it was due to how we were brought up, but we believed in hardships, and only hardships will bring out the best of men. in contrast, the west may be more softer inside, due with the strong conscious of individual sensitivities.
asian cultural beliefs also viewed that children were indebted to their parents because without their parents, they won't exist. the concerns of "their children didn't choose to get to be born or not" is an unrealistic and pointless question. it doesn't solve anything, and also can never be answered. however the parents also knew it's their primary responsibilities to care for their children, and to train/discipline them to become proud standing beings. there's a teaching that went by "feed but not teach, dad's fault." in sanzhijin (3 letter book), which means it's the parents' blunders to take care of their children but failing to teach them. the next sentence went on to apply the same responsibilities to teachers, therefore parents and teachers in asian cultures are very big on what responsibilities they have the right to fulfill.
i for one, recalled the days where i had to stay up until 4am reciting the multiplication table because my mom won't allow me sleep till i mastered it. the same occurred with learning learning 50 english vocabularies a night, and getting beaten up if i slack. i also had plenty of english tutors back then. these led me to developing a split-second response in answering multiplication questions, while spelling errors were rarely something i encounter these days. would/do i resent my parents for these training? nope, because even then, i knew why it's necessary to perfect it(although i didnt exactly see why/the potentials until years later). plus, we were brought up to know it's a must that we are good in these, otherwise we're screwed.
as for social life, asian parents actually encouraged the children to make friends. we arent introverted or socially closed as the essay might depict. all those extracurricular activities included arts, dancing, music, and even sports too, even school plays or scouts or guides or various clubs(i was in the cadets)
(it's also these exposures where you see competitive behaviors between parents)
that essay merely failed to cover those aspects.
consider asian parenting as military training. lol
i hope these offer some insights to our culture. (im also doing psychology major, where developmental psyc was something covered in our material)
