Why Chinese Mothers are Superior...
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Children no matter the culture/race/ethnic background are supposed to have fun ,within reason, when growing up. They also need learning varied experiences. A mother that controls every aspect of a child's life will have so much resentment built towards her there may be a major disconnect when the children reach adulthood. And I do firmly believe that children raised in the manner described will adjust poorly to the very real and harsh World.
Raising children in this manner crosses all culture/race/ethnic backgrounds. It part of as the Gov of PA,Ed Rendell, states the wussification of America.
Raising children in this manner crosses all culture/race/ethnic backgrounds. It part of as the Gov of PA,Ed Rendell, states the wussification of America.
solarz
Brigadier
While I'm never one to support strict rote-learning, the article does raise a few very good points:
1- Children do not naturally want to overcome challenges. It is the job of the parents to "motivate" them (through whatever means necessary) to do so. Nothing builds self-confidence like realizing that you can do something you thought you couldn't.
2- Leisure time is relative. Children who get 1 hour a day of personal time and children to get 11 hours a day will both WANT MORE.
Not sure what you mean by "wussification of America".
Spartan95
Junior Member
Read the article a few days before when it appeared in local press.
I would say the title is intended to grab head-lines. The content however, is more about cultural differences between societies.
Also, using the term "Chinese" and "western" is overly simplistic. There are more than 50 different ethnic groups in China. Are they all Chinese and do they all have the same behaviour? I hardly think so. Similarly for "western". Germans, French, British, Australian, Canadians, Americans, etc all have different cultures (some more so than others). Lumping them all under "western" and using American societal norms isn't necessarily reflective of reality.
solarz
Brigadier
The author acknowledges that in the very beginning of her essay. And while a fair amount of variation does exist, I think it's safe to say that for the most part, there are large qualitative differences in parenting styles between the typical North American family, and the minority North American Chinese families.
And although the author does not make such a claim, her views on parenthood aren't very different from the typical Chinese (as in China) family, as both are based on a very Confucian view of parent-child relationship.
I guess in a way, you can even view this as a partial insight into Confucian philosophy, and a part of what sets the Chinese society apart from the Western society.
bladerunner
Banned Idiot
Agreed 100%
True, but a childwho only gets 1 hour a day would most probably make the most of it and become very efficient with their time management, while a child who has the whole day to himself, ends up complaining of boredom
That wouldnt just be in American I would say a lot of the Western countries (ESpecially NZ) have gone down that route. Government and local government have gone over the top in passing silly laws to protect society from any imaginery hurt it may do to themslves.
AS an example over here , children are discouraged from being children. Any playground activities that can result in the child getting bumps, cuts and bruises are actively discouraged. SWinging on a tree branch or even climbing a tree is a no no. I know early child hood educaters that get so frustrated with the many forms one has to get parents to sign that they avoid class trips. All of this progresses up the chain to even affect adults.
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solarz
Brigadier
The issue has nothing to do with "over-parenting". You can be over-protective even if you don't set any demands on the child. You can also be a strict and demanding parent that pushes your child into the most difficult challenges.
cliveersknell
New Member
Disciplining with encouragement. As a foreigner, I see two versions:
1. Northern Chinese version-discipline , but also mentoring and encouragement, low to moderate Confucianist background.
2. Southern Chinese version - sheer discipline, with strong face saving. Strong Confucianist background.
I see this from my wife ( who is from northern china) and her circle of friends, some of whom are from Taiwan, southern china and Singapore. One thing in common is both versions stress heavily the importance of education, which has a much higher standard than western families. I would be satisfied if my daughter got 80% or a B , but learned much from her class. My CofC would like at least 97% or A. On the other hand both my daughter and wife love to sing, so my wife encourages her greatly in this.
Please do correct me if I missed anything.
Best Regards
Clive
1. Northern Chinese version-discipline , but also mentoring and encouragement, low to moderate Confucianist background.
2. Southern Chinese version - sheer discipline, with strong face saving. Strong Confucianist background.
I see this from my wife ( who is from northern china) and her circle of friends, some of whom are from Taiwan, southern china and Singapore. One thing in common is both versions stress heavily the importance of education, which has a much higher standard than western families. I would be satisfied if my daughter got 80% or a B , but learned much from her class. My CofC would like at least 97% or A. On the other hand both my daughter and wife love to sing, so my wife encourages her greatly in this.
Please do correct me if I missed anything.
Best Regards
Clive
solarz
Brigadier
What's "CofC"? I also disagree with your North/South split. As far as I can see, the split you describe is not due to geographical reasons, but "social class"/personality/background reasons. In fact, I see a little bit of all factors in the chinese parents I know: disciplining, mentoring, and "face saving". Different parents with different backgrounds focus on different aspects.
For example, my aunt used to always complain about how my cousin's poor academic performance was making her lose face in front of the teacher and other parents. However, I've never heard such comments from my own mother, even when I don't do well at a test. It could be because my mother had a better understanding of child education than my aunt, or it could just be that due to her more social personality, she is more concerned with the social ramifications than my mom.
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