I think Melissa Chan here is missing the point about realism. Realism cares not for your feelings or morality or toxic masculinity or any of that, realism looks at historical patterns and nature of people and use it to predict the future. Historical pattern says when a small nation next door to a large nation gets uppity and start causing trouble, sooner or later it will be slapped down. It happened to Cuba, it happened to Vietnam and now it's happening to Ukraine. Is it fair? Maybe not? But realism is not concerned with fairness or niceties. You can say Mearsheimer’s argument is basically the “she wore a short skirt” justification, but guess what? He predicted there will be a war in Ukraine decades ago and he was right on the money. Can you say his theory is wrong? Just because it hurts your feel feels?
I cannot read Melissa Chan's mind or speak for her.
As far as I can infer, Melissa Chan's argument may go like this:
1) Ukraine is a victim of aggression by Russia. As a metaphor, Ukraine is being raped (violated) by Russia.
2) John Mearsheimer's attempting to excuse Russia's aggression by implying that it's understandable, perhaps even inevitable.
3) When a woman gets raped, some misogynists attempt to excuse the rapist by claiming that he was provoked by her short skirt.
Blaming the victim is common.
Even if Ukraine's like a woman with a dubious reputation who appears 'provocative' by wearing a short skit, she's still innocent.
She does not deserve to be raped. I suspect that's Melissa Chan's point.
I suspect that Melissa Chan has a visceral aversion to Putin's calculated public displays (going shirtless) of his robust masculinity.
Some women may be turned off by it; other women may be turned on, apparently:
"I'd have loved to have been [Putin's mistress] ... he's a very attractive man. Such a strong, male energy."
--attributed to Anna Netrebko (a Russian opera soprano who's now widely banned in the West)