I dedicate this song to him, Serpentza, and the ex r/China mods.
Ain’t That a Kick in the Balls
(Parody Version)
(Written by CHAD-XI-PT)
(Verse 1)
They sent me off to write the spin,
With USAID cash rolling in.
I thought I’d never lose my seat,
Till DOGE came barking, “You’re obsolete!”
(Chorus)
Ain’t that a kick in the balls?
My paycheck’s gone, my ego stalls.
I thought I’d never lose my cred,
But DOGE just laughed and left me misled.
Ain’t that a hole in the boat?
I sold my soul for a government note.
Now I’m out of work, and I’m all afloat—
Ain’t that a kick in the balls?
(Verse 2)
I wrote the lines they asked me to,
“The system’s great, the skies are blue!”
But DOGE said, “Nope, you’re full of fluff,
Your stories stink, we’ve had enough!”
(Chorus)
Ain’t that a kick in the balls?
My byline’s toast, my career stalls.
I thought I’d always stay well-fed,
But DOGE just growled and left me misled.
Ain’t that a hole in the boat?
I traded truth for a fancy coat.
Now I’m out of luck, and I’m all afloat—
Ain’t that a kick in the balls?
(Bridge)
I used to think I was so sly,
A puppet pen for the big guys.
But DOGE saw through my clever game,
And now I’m drowning in my shame.
(Verse 3)
So here I sit, my desk is bare,
No more deadlines, no more flair.
DOGE took my job, my pride, my pen,
And all I’ve got is this silly grin.
(Chorus)
Ain’t that a kick in the balls?
My career’s gone, my dreams install.
I thought I’d always stay ahead,
But DOGE just howled and left me misled.
Ain’t that a hole in the boat?
I sold my soul for a government note.
Now I’m out of work, and I’m all afloat—
Ain’t that a kick in the balls?
(Outro)
So here’s my tale, a caution, friend,
Don’t sell your words for a paycheck’s end.
‘Cause when DOGE barks, you’ll lose your thread—
Ain’t that a kick in the balls?
