A. The Chinese fought many wars like the Europeans:
Did they? espeically if we use the same purportion of population and landmass involved? The reign of emperor Wanli during the late 16th early 17th century saw roughly 6 major conflict through a 50 year reign, and that was considered one of the most serious warring era of the Ming, the Ming was roughly the size (and population) of Western Europe, tell me how 5 serious conflict in 50 year over the entire Western Europe would qualify as serious?
More over, did they really threaten the existence of the Ming? of those 5 conflicts, 2 were semi serious rebellions (one was a military garrision in Ning-Xia, the other was a local chief in the south western frontier who got too bold), 2 were half arsed border wars (one against the Mongols which they quickly sued for peace, the other was a invasion from Burma that was more of a joke as the Burmese were primitive at this time compare to the Chinese armies and was easily destroyed) , the Imjin war was pretty remarkable, but the scale wasn't nearly as large as you would imagine (in 92-93, the Ming roughly send in an army of little more than 40K , that was just a modest size army at best by Ming standards). The final was the conflict with the Machu taht would turn out disastorous, but in the begining they thought it was just some border tribes acting up.
B. The Chinese disueded military and preferred scholarship.
Did they? the one key assuption people are missing here is the nature of the Chinese empire, it was LARGE , most medieval European states were restricted to a similar geographic region , while often several state shared a similar geographic region, in China's case however, it was overlapping several geographic region by itself.
This may not seem like much of an issue to the eyes of amature, but it is vastly important in the development of social politics, how you operate a government changes dramatically when your messenger can reach the edge of your border in a day or in 2 month from the captial.
Almost all modern states have to deal with the issue of seperating their military from their administration, China however, faced this issue much much sooner, as soon as the Han dynasty was reformed into a real state (instead of the many fief states that existed in the Han in the begining), with a empire this large, your leader can not possibly hope to lead the forces himself or have his troops be all loyal to him personally like he would if he was operating out of a small region.
MUCH of what the Song / Ming did to regulate their military is EXACTLY what modern states do, things like seperating logistic and daily finance from the Generals themself, or have administrator overseeing their operations. or rotated officers with different men on a regular basis, these are all things that we take for granted in modern militaries, and something that really only happened in China and nowhere else until modern times.
The Chinese dynasties already overlapped several major geographic regions themself and was basically running up against insurmontable geographic obstecals on all ends (the Himalayas to the west, the Gobi to the North West, the Stepps to the North, the Pacific to the East and the Jungles of SE Asia to the South, only the North East end retained some possibility of expansion but the incentives wasn't particularly strong). Running such a large state require them to operate on different sets of rules than it would if they were a small European state. How do you ensure control to a area where if anything goes wrong it wouldn't reach you until a month or two later? How do you balance the need for defense with the potential for revolt? the easiest way is obviously to command all ur man personally, but that would be possible if you ruled one castle, or maybe a couple of county where your immediate family or associates can help out, but a vast empire?
C. The Qing dynasty relied on Chinese troops
They did, to some extend, but their core ruling policies did push for a nomadic originated army. instead of one based on Han Chinese, the 8 banner mans were basically a caste made up of mostly Machus and Mongols, and was suppose to be their primary force, they were given land and social benifits, much more so than the Green Banner did.
You also miss the point that the Qing emperor did not actually trust the han armies, during their early dynasty operations quiet often the emperor himself was leading the army, which dramatically lessens the complication of loyalty and control issues. but such a method can not be depended on for a large dynasty.
Also, the Red Cloth Cannon was relatively on par with European guns of the early half of the 17th century, but not after that. the fact that it was still the Qing's main gun by the 19th century (and in fact most armies had forgotten how to use them anyway) showed the key problem here.
Also, the economics of the Chinese dynasty also had much to do with this regional geographic issue. Due ot the unified nature of dynasties, they need to create a unified set of rules on things like taxes, yet not all regions were created the same, what may seem like light taxes in the Yangtsi Delta could be an insurmontable burdon elsewhere, yet the ability to micro adjust to such problems was nearly impossible before modern times. This included monetary. issues. when the Song was pressed south they were probably the only Chinese dynasty to have a relatively sustained and successful use of advanced monetaries (and it still back fired in the end).
The history text books might tell you that the Chinese were the first to invent paper money, it doesn't tell the second half of the story though, that most of the attempts to use these paper money ended up in failures, and the later dynasties basically gave up on it altogether ( Ming onward, the Ming's paper money basically failed by the end of their first emperor, and was given up on altogether mid way through, in fact the Ming and Qing were operating on NO offical money for most of their time.), traditionalist might explain this away with corruption or Confucian mind set, but the realtiy is hardly that. it had much more to do with the problem of attempting to insert unified rule over a large state without modern tools.
Thus it is much less surprising that the Song and the 5 dynasty /10 states era actually offered a better economic / social / technological development then later large dynasties. because the diversity of region they were ruling is more limited, thus more realistic laws and policy can be implemented effectively, the little noted Kingdom of Min in modern day Fujian actually had a pretty advanced naval commerce policy, why? because they were only in that region so they were acutely aware of their need, and would not end up sacrificing certain regions' interest supposedly for the greater good (see the Ming's sea commerce policy.. aka total sea ban)