If you look at the navy ship built these days, they're like tin cans without armor. While a SM-2 missile is much less powerful than a real AShM, the advantage to the carrier, such as the Japanese Kongo class, is that they can carry up to 90 of them in the VLS cels, versus most ships only carry 4-8 AShM's.
So, instead of asking "can a SM-2 missile mission-kill XYZ ship", think "what if a salvo SM-2's were fired on this ship".
As for the Harpoon vs. YJ-83, they'll both mission-kill most ships today if hit. Look at what the Exocet did to HMS Sheffield, HMS Glamorgan, and USS Stark. If anyone thinks PLAN missiles are backward, I'd point out that the latest YJ-8x missiles are most likely more advanced than the Exocets used in Falklands, and those 1979 Exocets sure worked as advertised.
Over the last 20 years, air defense systems have gotten a lot better, versus anti-ship missiles mostly only improved in range and accuracy. I think in the future, when stealth technology is applied to anti-ship missiles, it'd change things. No matter how good your air defense missiles are, they're useless if you cannot detect the incoming missile.