I went to a fairly generic engineering school (university of Alberta), not top tier like UofT or UBC. So unlike ur friends who had awesome parents and went to ivy league, didn't get those family support. Both myself and my wife paid our own way through school without family support by working in summers or during the year.
Genetically better than most in the intelligence department, for sure, which engineer isn't?
My roofer buddy went out of way to learn this new trade. He literally flew to Sweden on his own dime to learn it. The other thousands to roofers were content using asphalt tiles while my friend saved up and did an 1 year internship in Sweden.
My pharmacist friend didn't get help from family, because her parents been poor their whole lives. Dad was in and out of unemployment for most of her teenage years and mom made almost nothing.
I don't have survivor bias, me and my friends just understand how to look for niche skills and would be in demand.
And genetics, of course, is a matter of luck. At least until science one day figures out how to tamper with it ala Gattaca-style.
Very respectable that your friend was willing to commit some real time to pick up techniques/designs from elsewhere that would be scarce and in demand in Canada. Not a lot of people could leave Canada to do it if they already have a wife and kids at home.
So then that still begs the question of how a poor friend on a relatively modest pharmacist's income managed to come up with a high enough down payment to take out a $5M loan. 10+ years' savings from a pharmacist's income, even with commitment to an extremely frugal lifestyle, is not nearly enough to do so unless the timing was right with bottomed-out interest rates and the lowest possible down payment requirements. Try taking out a $5M loan today on the savings of a pharmacist (with a frugal lifestyle) who only just finished their 11th year of their career. Pretty good odds that it leads to rejection and it isn't even a close call from the bank's perspective.
Attributing everything to hard work is a classic hallmark of survivorship bias pertaining to socioeconomic status. If one of the main common threads you see between yourself and your rich friends is that you all work hard, it is pretty predictable for you to assume that this is the distinguishing factor that sets apart the successful from the unsuccessful human trash that are clearly not worthy of your empathy. As you so clearly put it, "So yes, we live in the wealthy bubble and I don't give two shits about people that don't work hard to get ahead."
In contrast, there are a not insignificant proportion of rich (7 figure and up net worth) who understand that luck played a huge role in them being where they are. Whether it is luck of timing, luck of birthright, or luck or genetics. Yes, intelligence and hard work played a huge role for many of them. But again, intelligence is luck of genetic birthright, nurturing of intelligence is luck of upbringing, and appreciation of hard work is luck of upbringing as well. Having the right family to teach you those lessons, either literally or by example.
In reality, the number of very hardworking people that never reach anywhere remotely close to your social circle's average standards of success vastly outnumbers hardworking people that succeed. Likely by two orders of magnitude within the West, and three to four (or more) orders of magnitude outside of the West. On the other hand, there are some people who were born into or coasted into levels of success that most people never get to even imagine. It's a huge spectrum. Appreciating and understanding that spectrum allows one to be more understanding of the many luck-based, genetic, social, and other forms of advantage or disadvantage that are built in from the starting gate.
Some people had the best of some of those factors, end up coasting through the Ivy League, join up with a similar romantic partner, and end up at 99+% percentile rank household income by their 30s. Just from committing very reasonable quantities of hard work. No especially ambitious or creative approaches as you and your friends have done so. High but not outrageous levels of intelligence. And only modest levels of mental health (high stress education and high stress careers being what they are). If even a modest proportion of the people like that can appreciate and empathize with those born into structurally disadvantaged families/environments, I would hope that you can come to do so as well. Poke your head outside that wealth bubble from time to time and see that most of the hardworking people out there in the world still can't "make it" the way you have. Embrace the fact that even if you were born into a poor family, you were advantaged in having good genetics (such as your high intelligence) and good role models (from which you probably cultivated your work ethic to begin with).
Those who flaunt their wealth are the working poor. Real rich people still drive their 2006 Honda civic to work (me). Because all our money is saved up and invested. Dumb people buy LV bags and Dior to show off money they don't have.
I was originally referring more to forms of "humble-flaunting", but what you highlighted just now is one perspective on which you and I are extremely closely aligned. When someone is capable of buying a Ferrari without resorting to any form of revolving credit or installment credit, but instead chooses to drive a Toyota/Honda, that is a good indication of someone who I would probably see eye to eye with on many things.