The difference is that US was not interested in even ruling these areas. They installed military regimes that treated all the locals as essentially subhuman and had no long term visions for the area.
Culturally, there are vast differences as well. Asians, if the ruling party is also Asian, are going to be more accepting of authority in general. A Korean under Chinese rule can pass as somewhat Chinese just by learning Chinese.
Is an Asia encompassing empire possible in terms of security and integration? If we observe in history, yes. Despite the extreme cruelty against their occupied territory, today, the Empire of Japan is actually praised among South Korean and Taiwan right wing, Thailand, Philippines and other SEA countries. This tells me that with a much lighter hand from China, there may be initial popular conflicts, but the prevailing mood will, as illogically as it sounds, shift towards far higher levels of pro-China belief than if China didn't occupy them.
And while Imperial Japan only provided the most basic long term subject plans yet this was enough to buy gratitude especially among SEA, China has real experience in developing areas and a vision for an Asia based world order, for example with the GSI and so on. China can, unlike Japan in the past, offer a real path towards high income.
Technology arms race is real, but imo it's naive to believe that the ultimate reason behind tech race isn't to eventually enable the use of force. If Britain had only declared victory by having better tech than Qing, could they have reached the power they got without looting the wealth of their main rival? The same applies to PRC as well. They can have all the tech advantages in the world, but they still eventually need to pry open the doors of the west and take over their accumulated wealth.
Whether it be by overwhelming invasion in a grand pacific war or a smaller war primarily focused on destroying enemy government stability like the opium war, China needs an explosive moment to ensure western civilization will play ball for the foreseeable future. At the very least, open trade lanes, open investment and non-discrimination guarantee against Chinese businesses.
It is a good thing then that CCP does not possess these motives of conquest and empire that you speak of (and that Chinas' enemies desperately want to attach to it), and that its job as a fiduciary of the Chinese people and the free world is to continue the path to socialism and a multipolar world devoid of conflict and strife.
I know that some nationalists outside of China (and some Han nationalists inside of it) do not like to hear that, but contributing to a peaceful international environment is the core of Xi Jinping Thought after all.
And that is great for all of us. We will never see a Dai Tōa Kyōeiken rising again from the hearts of the people that suffered the most from it.
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