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There is a difference in that European wars were fought by nations that more or less were on even footing with eachother and in peacetime heavily exchanged people, ideas, and culture, while in East Asia you had backwater nations that were at the mercy of the modern European powers and Japan. That's why I said in my OP nationalism is perceived differently. In Europe, especially the obvious candidate Germany, there is a sentiment that nationalism created unecessary conflict when the nations had so much in common with eachother.Asia's history does not differ from Europe much. WW2, the Sino-Japanese war, and prior to that the Taiping war etc all caused similar effects to Europe's Napoleon, WW1 and WW2.
China is the union of about as many people as comprises the whole west, and has a similar economic and industrial output as well. So it can hardly be said that unification projects in Asia didn't work, if anything, it has progressed more than European unification in many ways.
In the past, even just within the last 200 years, the area comprising China has always been subject to wars over continental control. Today, theres unity of purpose and goals, different areas inside China are able to fully help less developed areas into achieving economic goals. Isn't that the whole point of the "western civilization"? To realize between 1-2 billion the union of language, government, purpose and economic development aid?
The dissent of Korea and Japan in Asia is not that different from the dissent of the Arabs and the Slavs in the West. The stronger the beacon of unification shines in the region, the more threatened those who are excluded feel.
They need to be eventually dealt with through both carrot and stick. Being also a de facto empire, China should learn from the first hand successes and failures of it's Western counterpart at subjugating the dissenters.
On the flipside, immigrants to Western countries already feel a sense of humiliation being discouraged from speaking their native tongue, so imagine for several decades a foreign army made it so that people couldn't even speak their native tongue in their own land. Since many Asian nations only recently came out of colonialism, that's why nationalism is held more closely to the chest.
It took a war for Europe to get out of its mindset and I doubt one in Asia will pop up that's devastating enough, nor should we hope that one does. That's why I say the mutual enmities and nationalism no matter how far we develop might be here to stay. Pop culture exchange can only go so far, since political interests will be there to stay and determine policy.