Modern fighter (stealth or not) is to fight when it's required. Gun isn't really a big a/a consideration nowadays, but a couple of dedicated WVR missile bays and that whole 360deg vision are here.
Nor 5th gen fighter is any particularly scarce resource to be kept back - they're being produced at the same rates and for similar prices to the previous generation fighters.
Losing older planes instead of J-20s made sense when J-7s were still around and J-20 were scarce. Not anymore.
That’s the kind of everyone-must-be-a-superhero thinking that got the US military into the bind its in now where everything costs way too much and they don’t have enough numbers so everything is pushed way too hard for too long.
The airforce needs to be able to fight and win every fight does not mean every asset and platform within the air force needs to be able to do everything. Not recognising that basic distinction ends up with F35s strapping rocket pods doing gun runs.
Right now there are J10s that can do WVR mop up perfectly effectively, so why do you need J20s to do that? In the future, there will be swarms of loyal wingmen UCAVs to do that.
The 360 cameras and side weapons bays are there principally for contingencies and emergencies, not proactive use. Just because I have a fire extinguisher in my kitchen does not mean I want to be setting me meals on fire even once.
The way to maximize VLO advantage is to come closer to targets than is possible otherwise, and aim for more closer range, unescapeable ambushes.
Staying at 200km cosplaying a su-35 with half a ton rockets doesn't really maximize it - both are out of reach, it's more of an invisible Joe strategy.
The goal of tip of the spear is to decisively get deep into something. Avoiding WVR(and closer quarters in general) when it's exactly a relative strength of J-20 is suboptimal.
Firstly, that’s a gross misunderstanding of what stealth is meant to achieve. It’s not a means to allow you to troll your opponents by trying to get close enough to teabag them while they are still breathing. It’s to allow you to get close enough to shoot at them before they can shoot back. Getting close enough to make the shot within the NEZ of your BVR missile is optimal, getting close enough to be in a WVR fight is stupid.
Overly focusing on KP is an idiots game, because as you get closer to the enemy, sure you increase your own KP, but you also multiply the dangers to yourself. Take a small risk enough times and it’s inevitable you will get unlucky one day.
You know who also played such a stupid game in real life and won the stupid prize? The Imperial Japanese Navy, who kept throwing its best pilots at the Americans until they all inevitably died, and then the combat capability of the entire Japanese navy nosedived as a result. It will be exactly the same if you kept throwing your stealths into needless dogfights chasing high K/D ratios.
Against even purely legacy enemies, if the enemy has good AWACS and other off-bored support assets, getting in close with a stealth is a genuine risk. Against enemies with all of that and stealth fighters themselves is just being needlessly stupid.