So, if we are to aggregate all the indications so far, we have these:
1. Interview with a 14th institute spokesperson at Zhuhai 2018 saying "J-20 and J-16 use some kind of a phased array radar"
2. Interview with director of 14th institute saying "our airborne radar is completely comparable to the F-35's APG-81 radar and the F-22's APG-77 radar" though he doesn't go into details, whether he's talking about radars on actual PLAAF planes or whether he's talking about 14th institute's radars in some stage of development. Also, "completely comparable" is a rather vague statement, but it does give credence he's talking about active phased array.
3. Export geared model of AESA radar is marketed for JF17 at Zhuhai 2018.
4. Two different phased array designs seen on J10B and J10C, via imagery. While the first one does resemble what Russians tried with their PESA technology, the latter one looks different, and is somewhat closer looking to the US AESA radars. Though of course, superficial visual similarities don't have to be conclusive.
5. I also remember there were some research papers on use of AESA radars for J10 radar, though I don't remember the details nor can I find those papers.
6. Myriad of larger AESA radars in use on other platforms for some years now might also be somewhat indicative of the fighter based AESA radar presence in J-20 and J-16.
I will use your summary as a framework to address the pertinent issues regarding the AESA radar discussion. First off, there are AESA radars and then there are AESA radars. In other words, all AESA radars are different due to manufacturing design and the intended applications which they in turn affect significantly the complexities of the product and how quickly one can get to a stable design that meet performance criteria. I will therefore address each of the above points in turn.
1. I am not disputing whether J-20 or J-16 use phased arrays. The starting point is that they do.
2. What is being said by the 14th institute that what is being built is comparable to APG-81 and APG-77 is highly misleading and disingenuous. In terms of analogy it is like saying the Nissan Skyline is comparable to a Porsche. Other than the fact that both have four wheels and that they can get from point A to point B very quickly - it is very misleading in terms of product comparison. Even though we have limited information on both APG-81 and APG-77 we would never say that they are comparable. For example, we don't know their respective TR average power, we don't know whether they are using the same TR design, we don't know their respective signal processors, we don't know their respective radar mode algo, we don't know their respective gains, we don't know their respective frequencies settings, et al. All these are key drivers to their respective performance metrics and applications. We can do a reasonable guesstimate that the packaging technology used in the APG-81 is denser than the one in APG-77 by approximately 16 % (from memory).
3.AESA development is all software driven and depending on performance criteria it can be basic or complex. We know block 3 has been repeatedly delayed and that could be due to the radar not being ready for prime time. One can declare victory for a simpler design but that does not mean the one for the J-20 or J-16 would have a similar pathway. For example, the APG-79 for years had design stability issues even though it came after APG-63(V)2 and APG-77 in terms of timeline.
4. The complexities of an AESA radar cannot be judged based on visual imagery. The complexities are specs dependent. For example, T/R module count is affected by packaging technology. The more aggressive the target, the more problems you have to solve with thermal management and grating issues. Generally the size of TR modules must be small enough that they can be packed to about half wavelength apart in the highest operating frequency. This would give widest field of view (distance of lower than 0.5 equals +-90 degree FOV, 0.536 the wavelength equals to +- 60 degree FOV and 0.586 equals +-45 degree FOV). One way to widen FOV is to use a mechanical gimbal. If the intend is to integrate the radar to the EW system than it will give rise to another layer of complexity with signal interference issues I believe this was the problem with the APG-79.
5. and 6. Basically to sum up, I believe Butowski's statement that there is "no production series" is meant to be intentional to project a view that the radar development has not reached a stage where it can go into series production. Essentially there is a long pathway in product testing and there may be some installed for further operational evaluation but not necessarily ready for prime time. .