Funny article thread

[broadsword]

HAVE A SMILE WHEN READING THIS - To whom does the Land of Israel belong?

To whom does the Land of Israel belong ? After all these long, long years, many people still don,t know that Israel has been, still is and will always be
God's Chosen Nation since Abraham has been informed by you know who !!!!!!!!!

An Israeli Sense of Humour at United Nations set the record straight.
An ingenious example of speech and politics occurred recently in the United Nations Assembly and made the world community smile.
A representative from Israel began: 'Before beginning my talk I want to tell you something about Moses: When he struck the rock and it brought forth water, he thought, "What a good opportunity to have a bath!"
Moses removed his clothes, put them aside on the rock and entered the water. When he got out and wanted to dress, his clothes had vanished. A Palestinian had stolen them!
The Palestinian representative at the UN jumped up furiously and shouted, "What are you talking about? The Palestinians weren't there then."
The Israeli representative smiled and said, "And now that we have made that clear, I shall begin my speech."

 

[kwaigonegin]

One of my pet peeve is people double clicking a hyperlink. Makes me want to strangle them with the mouse cord. I'm like dude you've been using Microsoft products for almost 20 years... Surely you must realized by now the difference between opening a folder, an application and clicking on a link. No Mary, you don't need to double click the start button or the text that changes color when your cursor is over it. Single click will do!!!! And if you double click the x on the corner again I will wrap the mouse cord on your neck.

 

[broadsword]

Double clicking is bad for my arthritic finger. I set to single-click long ago.

 

[Miragedriver]

Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. As we grow older, it's important to keep mentally alert. If you don't use it, you lose it! The test below is a very private way to gauge your loss or non-loss of intelligence.

Instructions: Take the test presented here to determine if you're losing it or not. Do not peek at the answer until you've already answered the question. OK, relax, clear your mind and begin.

Q1. What do you put in a toaster?

A1. Bread. If you said "toast", give up now and do something else ... like knit or whittle. Try not to hurt yourself. If you said "bread", go to Question 2.

Q2. Say "silk" five times. Now spell "silk". What do cows drink?

A2. Cows drink water. If you said "milk", don't attempt the next question. Your brain is over-stressed and may even overheat. Content yourself with reading a more appropriate literature, such as Auto World. However, if you said "water", proceed to Question 3.

Q3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks, what is a greenhouse made from?

A3. Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said "green bricks", why the hell are still reading these?!! If you said "glass", go on to Question 4.

Q4. It's twenty years ago, and a plane is flying at 20,000 feet over Germany (If you will recall, Germany at the time was politically divided into West Germany and East Germany). Anyway, during the flight two engines fail. The pilot, realizing that the last remaining engine is also failing, decides on a crash landing procedure. Unfortunately, the engine fails before he can do so and the plane fatally crashes smack in the middle of "no man's land" between East Germany and West Germany. Where would you bury the survivors? East Germany, West Germany? Or no man's land?

A4.You don't bury survivors. If you said ANYTHING else, you're a dunce and you must stop. If you said, "You don't bury survivors", proceed to the next questions.

Q5. Without using a calculator - You are driving a bus from London to Milford-Haven in Wales. In London, 17 people get on the bus. In Reading, six people get off the bus and nine people get on. In Swindon, two people get off and four get on. In Cardiff, 11 people get off and five people get on. In Carmathen, six people get off and three get on. You then arrive at Milford Haven. What was the name of the bus driver?

A5. Oh, for crying out loud! Don't you remember your own name? It was YOU!!


Now pass this on to your friends and pray they do better than you.

P.S. 95% of people fail most of the questions! Hey, at least you're in the majority !!!!!!!

 

[no_name]

I failed except for Q3 and Q5, guess today is not my day.

And the silk question I actually came across before and even tricked someone with it, but yet failed again lol.

 

[Miragedriver]

Argentina was one of the richest countries in the world before WWII, that was what I read when I was young. Even now, the crime rate is one of the lowest in South America, if not the lowest. Much lower than neighboring Brazil. And despite being big beef consumers, diseases associated with it do no seem higher than elsewhere. I'm vexed that it has not enjoyed the kind of prosperity that a similar agricultural country like Australia has.

It is a long story of political ineptitude and relying on past glories. I can write to you on SD private message if you are interested in knowing more.

cheers

 

[Miragedriver]

For all of you out there with teenage daughters. This is one of my favourites.

Espanol:
La chica adolecente es el único "elemento matemático" que cumple con las cuatro reglas básicas que son:
1. Suma gastos.
2. Resta alegrías.
3. multiplica los problemas.
4. Divide las opiniones.


English:
Teenage girl is the only "mathematical element" that meets the four basic rules of mathematics, which are:
1. Adds expenses.
2. Subtracts joy.
3. Multiplies problems.
4. Divide opinions.

 

[airsuperiority]

One of my pet peeve is people double clicking a hyperlink. Makes me want to strangle them with the mouse cord. I'm like dude you've been using Microsoft products for almost 20 years... Surely you must realized by now the difference between opening a folder, an application and clicking on a link. No Mary, you don't need to double click the start button or the text that changes color when your cursor is over it. Single click will do!!!! And if you double click the x on the corner again I will wrap the mouse cord on your neck.

u need the new mouse man

 

[broadsword]

It is a long story of political ineptitude and relying on past glories. I can write to you on SD private message if you are interested in knowing more.

cheers

Oh yes, please.

 

[SamuraiBlue]

How's this;

Please, Log in or Register to view URLs content!

For those of you who don't know what KURATAS is see the vid below.

[video=youtube;29MD29ekoKI]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=29MD29ekoKI[/video]

On the page it states that the total weight of package would be 5,000Kg while the actual weight of product is 4,00Kg. Unfortunately they are out of stock at the moment and do not know when they will receive next shipment. LoL