A Solution to the Male-Female Imbalance in China
- Thread starter solarz
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Mr T
Senior Member
Importing brides isn't a solution, even if you were taking a more light-hearted approach to this. 50,000 yuan sounds like a lot of money. What exactly is it going to used for? Bribing a Vietnamese woman to marry you? Or paying people traffickers? I might sound cynical, but women are being kidnapped so that they can be married off to Chinese men that can't attract Chinese women.
There will be legitimate organisations out there that look to match foreign women with Chinese men, but I'm a bit wary of any companies saying they can buy you a wife!
solarz
Brigadier
50k is peanuts compared to what you have to spend on a Chinese bride. The money will most likely be divided between the agency and the girl's family, though I'm only guessing as to the details.
I'm sure there are human traffickers out there who kidnap women and sell them as slaves, but I'm also pretty sure those guys don't buy a huge billboard ad on a street corner!
Criminal elements aside, the article claims that there is a large number of Vietnamese women who legitimately see this as a way to better their own lives and the lives of their families.
And why wouldn't it be a solution? This is a great example of the Market solving social problems!
Mr T
Senior Member
Nonsense. Men don't pay out a dowry to their wife's family. Sure, you need to be able to treat someone right, but women are concerned with future prospects, not what you have in the bank.
Okaaay. You do realise that women aren't goods to be bought and sold, ergo they do not form part of the Market, right? You might want to change your tone a bit (sounding a tad chauvinist).
Let's look at the facts. Within a decade there could/is likely to be 25 million Chinese men short of a bride. Given that they're almost certainly going to be amongst the poorest men in society, are they really going to have the income necessary to attract and keep foreign brides? Even if they did, they would require 25 million women to want to move to a new country, learn a new language, etc. That's going to be virtually impossible, unless China suddenly jumps to the top of the standard of living tables.
Then there's always the chance that India might want to get into this game as well. So we're talking way more than 25 million women from a continent which also favours boys and will not exactly be seeing a surplus in eligible young women.
Companies breaking the law advertise their services all the time, but I was mostly being sarcastic. Assuming that this isn't a bit of a scam in that the company takes most of the money, do you think a happy marriage is going to be formed if it comes about because the bride's family gets a thick wad of cash?
Generally speaking I'm very sceptical of companies that charge people to arrange foreign marriages. Introducing people to others is one thing, but effectively saying "we'll get you a bride if you put money on the table" suggests to me that the other person is not interested in love or has a very naive concept of what it is. Maybe I'm wrong, but I have a feeling that these companies will not want to refund their customers just because the chemistry isn't right. They'll try to organise it so that a marriage will happen. Chances are they'll get poorly educated and/or young girls that don't know what they're letting themselves in for and woo them of promises of a good life, money for their families (as you suggested) and maybe even visas so that their family can move with them.
Whatever the promises, it could easily end in tears. Foreign marriages can be very difficult to maintain, even when people have good lives. Family ties in Asia can be very strong. I saw this myself when a Chinese friend went back to China despite the fact she was in a loving, firm relationship with a good bloke with good prospects. She just couldn't handle the idea of working in a foreign country away from her family any longer, despite the fact she was educated, modern and had prospects herself where she was. Sure some people can do the living overseas thing, but thinking women from Vietnam are all go-getting adventurous types looking to cut all ties is wishful thinking.
And if these companies are targetting better educated, wealthier Vietnamese women looking to marry middle class Chinese men, then we're talking about men who probably would be able to find a Chinese girl but want something better. Poor Chinese men still wouldn't get a shot at getting a woman because the available women would assume there'd be something better.
Lol this is ridiculous, importing women is not a solution to the gender disparity lol... this is one of those problems which will solve itself out. Men will either have to ramp up their game, start looking for foriegn girls, and/or change their sexualities >_>...
RedMercury
Junior Member
This is already happening. There's been an undercurrent of this in the past few years and this article is just eye catching because it spells it out.
There is no 'dowry' but to get married following the usual traditions is very expensive. 50k RMB is pretty cheap in comparison. A reception that costs 50k RMB will be seen as very frugal.
There is no 'dowry' but to get married following the usual traditions is very expensive. 50k RMB is pretty cheap in comparison. A reception that costs 50k RMB will be seen as very frugal.
Equation
Lieutenant General
I'm not so much to blame the company for it, but the person themselves. If one wants to match up with a foreigner for dating or possible marriage it's all up to them. Either way, life will throw you curve ball and you have to be prepare to take the consequences your actions. So the argument to "order" or buy a bride is mute because it's all up to the two people learning how to live with each other and really really ready for a marriage lifestyle. I see marriages going apart by both traditional arrangement, non traditional, and mail order brides. My uncle who is 53 years old when he married his Vietnamese bride of 26 years of age and they're still together happily with two children. It all comes down compatibility and chemistry, not just love alone.
solarz
Brigadier
Actually they do, but I guess you're not very familiar with Chinese customs.
How many women from Russia and Asia want to move to Europe or North America every year? What's so strange about women wanting to use their youth and looks to improve their financial situation? It happens everywhere.
First, India is a long way off from China when it comes to average living standards and economic clout. Secondly, Vietnamese and Chinese have a much more similar culture and outlook on marriage and family.
That depends entirely on one's outlook. I hate to break it to you, but every day, thousands of North American women marry for money instead of love. Are they happy? Maybe, maybe not. Really, how can you say those who marry for money are any less happy than those who marry for love? So many people marry thinking they're in love and then divorce a few years later.
Besides, like you said, a Vietnamese girl marrying into China will have virtually no social network outside her husband, and can't even speak the language. Her chances of "finding someone better" is rather slim.
In any case, it doesn't really matter. Once she's in China, doesn't matter if she keeps her first husband or divorces him within a year, she's still one girl more toward redressing the gender imbalance!
