"I think that slowing my plane down to a few meters per second and doing a backflip midair is useful for BVR combat, because obviously killing all of my velocity is the best way to dodge a missile"
Why are you even arguing? You come in, ask if the J-20 can do a Cobra, maneuver into and out of a stall, etc., and then try to link this to actual air combat? When are these maneuvers ever useful outside of dogfighting? Imagine an AIM-260 is coming at M2+, and you respond by pulling up your nose and stalling. How does this help? Sure, the missile now has to change direction because you've lost all speed, but missiles have better maneuverability than a plane, and a dual-pulse motor like the PL-15 (which I have no doubt is something carried forward to next-gen AAMs, and the Americans are trying to put on the AIM-260) will have no issue at all changing direction mid-flight, and then reigniting to accelerate into the plane which is just now recovering all the momentum it lost by stupidly performing a stall maneuver.