Just a random thought, but has anyone tried using magnets (electric or rare earth) to aid mid-air refuelling?
That means once you get the probe within a certain range, the magnets would finish the connection for you, reducing the difficulty and improving the speed of refuelling.
With electric magnets, you have amp up the power to create bigger effective range, which you can then shut off once you are done without needing to worry about beefing up the probe and dough to take the extra pull stress.
With rare earth magnets, you get less complexity and potential for malfunctions.