I think your post sums it well in regards to the situation with EOTS. There is a blog entry by Eric Palmer which is complementary to what you have described regarding EOTS, ROVER and VDL which I am taking the liberty to reproduce the relevant part below : ...
Well, to be fair somehow, I think all that VDL & IR Pointer stuff in support of CAS has only really risen to CAS prominance during the last 5-8 years maybe. A time at which the F-35 design has already been completed. So back then neither have these gadgets been on the agenda, nor was the CAS role seen as that important for the F-35 I believe. In the early 2000s I don't think people exspected the A-10 to possibly retire in 2016.
For all those legacy jets, adding those capabilities was rather easy, as it simply required attaching a new pod. Video streaming via the Link-16 network or to command posts via SATCOM will indeed create bandwidth issues, since there will be too much data. Direct line of sight downlink will be fine. With a new EOTS, at least incooperating a downlink transmitter should be possible.
While that undirected emission may cut into the F-35's LO / EMCON architecture, it really shuoldn't be a concern any more in a CAS scenario.