Re: British Military Pic Thread
HMS Ark Royal has just completed her refit at Rosyth and has returned to sea:
And on the subject of Arks, here's something that has been doing the rounds:
In 2006, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in England, and said; “Once Again, the Earth has become wicked and over populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me. Build another Ark and save two of every living thing, along with a few good Humans.”
He gave Noah the CAD drawings, saying “You have six months to build the Ark before I will start the unending rain for forty days and forty nights.”
Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard – but no Ark. “Noah!” he roared, “I’m about to start the rain! Where is the Ark?”
“Forgive me, Lord,” begged Noah, “But things have changed. I need Buildings Regulations Approval because the Ark is over 30m2. I’ve been arguing with the Fire Brigade about the need for a sprinkler system. My neighbours claim I should have obtained planning permission prior to building the Ark in my garden because it is a development of the site even though in my view it is a temporary structure, but the roof is too high. I had to appeal to the secretary of state.
Getting the wood was another problem. All the decent trees have Tree preservation Orders on them and we live in a Site of Special Scientific Interest set up in order to protect the spotted owl. I tried to convince the environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owls – but no go!
When I started gathering the animals, the RSPCA sued me. They insisted I was confining wild animals against their will. Then the County Council, the Environment Agency and the Rivers Authority ruled that I couldn’t build the Ark until they had conducted an environmental impact study on your proposed flood. I’m still trying to resolve a complaint with the Equal Opportunities Commission on how many BMEs I’m supposed to hire for my building team.
The Trades Unions say I can’t use my sons. They insist I hire only CSCS accredited workers with Ark-building experience.
So, forgive me Lord, but it would take at least ten years for me to finish this Ark.”
Suddenly, the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow stretched across the sky. Noah looked up in wonder, and asked; “You mean you’re not going to destroy the world?”
“No,” said the Lord. “The Government already beat me to it.”
